Urge
by Bluumberry
Summary: At some points, Rei has a terrible urge to get better...so what causes this? KaixRei


_I need to get stronger._

Chief's third model of the new Driger spinned around the room, leaving small claw marks all over. Rei's hand held his new shooter tightly as his face showed off his frustration. He called back his blade and looked over to Kenny to hear his thoughts.

"Your attack is better, but we still need for it to be stronger, not to mention we need to increase your speed and build up your defence even higher," Kenny said after observing the blade's performance.

Rei nodded, and handed the object to the brunet and went to dig out something that looked promising from the spare parts box.

_I can't believe I held myself so high before battling Tyson for the first time. After loosing so many times, I feel like even Antonio is better than me._

He smirked and shook his head before putting the part he had been looking for back and began to search again.

_Then again, he beat Takao just few hours ago. But it was still weird to see the guy come from barely launching good to defeating Takao. Even with Kai's help._

Rei didn't notice that his grip on the spare part he was holding was getting so tight that the shape of it was forming on his palm.

_When he said that Kai had been helping him, I felt ice flow through me. Kai? Help? And he gave it to a stranger. That's probably what hurt the most. Even with the fact that he probably wanted to see Takao's face as he was beaten by a rookie, it still hurt so much to know that he would help a stranger willingly than us when we asked for it._

He released his grip and looked at the marks on his hand dejectedly.

_You would think he'd help considering that we need his expertise to win and that my losses would say something to that. _

The golden eyed boy sighed and dropped the part back into the box and once again started looking.

_He barely ever says even two words to me. Not even the slight advice in battle. Only when I battled Mariah did he help me. Would it be too much to hope to think that he holds me on a higher level than the others and so thinks that I can do it on my own?_

Rei's eyes turned to the window and he peered outside. The others were working out; Takao and Antonio were carrying lumber as Max and Kai were hacking the wood. His eyes steadily watched as Kai brought the axe behind his head and then down on the chunk of wood swiftly, efficiently slicing it in half. He watched as the task was done again and again, observing as the strong muscles worked and rippled under the crimson eyed boys skin, unaware that Kenny was stealing worried glances at him from time to time.

_Actually, he himself said that he had thought I was smarted than to lose my bitbeast. And after reprimanding me, he tried to lessen the blow of loosing Driger._

He closed his eyes and sighed.

_And the guys told me later that Kai was the one who told them to leave me to my thoughts and that I would come back when I would be ready. How ashamed I had felt then, hearing the usually non-trusting captain say something about me with complete confidence and then come to realise that I may have betrayed that trust if Max and Takao hadn't come after me._

Rei finally found a part that would do the blade good and he handed it to Kenny, being too deep in thought to see the other boy's worried gaze.

_Where does this urge to get better come from? I know I want to be good and beat the All-Stars, but never has it been like this. Maybe when I lost Driger, but that is explainable. But jealousy for Kai's help surely could be it...wait-jealousy?!_

The ebony haired blader's eyes widened and they shined in understanding.

_Even with the loss of Driger, I wouldn't have trained to be better so hard if...Kai hadn't spoken those words in the rain. It's the same situation! I'm unconsciously trying to improve myself so Kai would notice me and not be ashamed. I can't believe I hadn't seen it before! He hasn't helped me because he thinks I can become better on my own and I'm trying to prove it. Just like I did when I got my Driger back._

He let out a small smile as he watched the Chief work on his blade and comment on Dizzi's humorous antics.

_I saw his expression that day. First the surprise, then the smile and proud shone in his eyes and finally serene face. He had said that if anyone could get a bitbeast back, it would be me. Even now, those words warm me up inside._

Finally clearing his mind, Rei started to really listen to what Kenny was doing to his blade.

Many hours later, he looked at his new blade inside his palm and quickly set it in his launcher. He pulled he ripcord and silently ordered it to do some damage. His golden eyes widened as the blade ripped apart the room. The computer screen blew up in seconds and the books on the bookshelf dropped to the floor on the force of the attack. As the smoke cleared, the place was filled with giant claw marks.

"Hey what's going on here-wow!"

Rei barely registered Takao's words as he looked at his still spinning blade with proudness of their achievement.

"It took all night, but it's finished," came Kenny's slightly amazed words. It seemed Kenny hadn't even himself expected the blade to become so powerful and fast.

_If it does this much damage on its own, who knows how much power it will have once I call Driger out?_

"Yeah, Chief. Whatever you did to my blade...don't you dare change a thing."

"Thanks Rei. But now I'm beat, we've been working on your blade since coming here so I think we deserve some sleep. Not to mention you look like you can't keep your eyes open, Rei."

Rei smiled as he called Driger back and held it in his palm happily. "You go with the guys Kenny," he said grinning at the three sleepyheads over at the doorway. "I have something I need to do."

Kenny looked like he was about to protest but then changed his mind halfway and walked out of the room, dragging a half asleep Takao with him. Rei followed Max and Antonio out of the room and after closing the door firmly behind him, he went outside.

Taking in a deep breath of the fresh mountain night air, he looked at the stars and smiled at his memories of the mountains in his home town.

_The back alley behind the grocery store wasn't the only place I practised in. I loved the mountains and the rough terrain in which I trained helped a lot. The worse the conditions in you practise, the better you'll get eventually._

Cracking of fire made its way to Rei's sensitive neko-jin ears and he turned his gaze to the right and saw light coming from the woods there. Silently, Rei ventured closer to find that Kai had made a fire there and was staring into the flames intently.

Even though he made no sound or even moved, Kai must have felt eyes on him as he turned his crimson orbs from the blazes of the fire to the honey colored eyes. They stared at each other for a long while in silence, only the fire and a couple of owls making any sounds.

"Do you want me to leave?" Rei asked quietly.

Kai turned his gaze to the flames again. There was a silent moment and Rei turned around to leave just as Kai's voice made him stop. "Go ahead."

Feeling grateful and happy inside and understanding the phoenix's words, Rei took a seat besides Kai and looked at the starry sky as the flames warmed his skin. He didn't see Kai looking at him from the corner of his eyes.

"You should be in bed; you've been working on your blade since we came here."

There was a protective note in the captain's voice that warmed Rei inside more than the flames ever could. He shook his head. "I'm tired, but I couldn't sleep now even if I wanted to."

Kai nodded his head understanding and turned his gaze to the stars as well. The silence was comfortable. But Rei wanted to ease some of the questions on his mind.

"Kai...did you help Antonio just because you wanted to see Takao's face, or was there another reason?" he asked timidly.

The blue haired boy closed his eyes as if contemplating his answer. Rei observed him silently.

_I expected him to just go with the first option, but he's actually thinking about what to answer._

"Truthfully, both."

Rei raised an eyebrow but nodded, showing Kai that he was grateful for the truthful answer. "It was amazing to see him go from barely able to launch correctly to defeating Takao. It shows you're a great teacher."

Kai snorted. "Maybe, but if so, the team's levels would be much higher and we wouldn't loose so often."

He smiled as he realized something. "Well you have helped us by giving advice in battle but other than that, you have left us to try and get better ourselves. I don't know if we have kept up your expectations on that, but at least I've tried," he said truthfully, understanding his own feelings better yet again.

Kai turned slightly surprised eyes to the ebony haired boy before they relaxed into a grateful gaze. "You have, Rei."

Rei turned his eyes to the fire as he felt a blush seep onto his face.

_He doesn't feel ashamed of me. That lifted a heavy burden off my shoulders._

The neko-jin's eyes started to drop as sleep finally caught up to him. His amber eyes were hidden behind his eyelids as he closed them and let dreams sweep him away.

Kai raised his head a little as he felt a weight on his shoulder and turned his face to see a mop of black hair to his right. Giving a small genuine smile, he wound his arm around the tiger's lithe waist and continued to watch the flames.

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I know I shouldn't have...but I couldn't help it! I was just watching the 25 episodes that I have on tape and as this episode came, I just felt the need to write what I would have felt if I was in Rei's shoes. Well then I added a little this and that and presto! I got instant lift juice! Heh heh, sorry couldn't help but putting that in.

I don't know when I'll update Unexpected, I have started the next chapter but...I really don't have inspiration for it. It just feels...wrong. That people put it on the same pedestal as fics like Untold Truths. It makes me joyful and depressed at the same time to think how much it could be better.

So I'll be concentrating on a fic I'm currently working on, a fic I'm thinking on and this, if I get inspiration to make it into more than a one-shot.

Review onegai?


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